wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
