This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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