Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
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I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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