arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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