Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
