Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
