the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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