Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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