guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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