if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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