Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
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IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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