Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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