I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
