I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Welp...herpes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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