when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
