You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
