So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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