are you still at the devil's house?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
