Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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