you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
