I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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