Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize