im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
