Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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