just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
