I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
why is half of my head shaved?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
