I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
People in love make me want to vomit
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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