The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
