That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize