when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize