Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
