Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
