thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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