hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
