Your dad touched me again.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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