My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
