How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
