The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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