Swine flu is the new snow day.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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