So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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