I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
