She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
