Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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