My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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