I feel like I'm in dance class right now
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
This beer is not sobering me up at all
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
