There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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