Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
