How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize