i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
