Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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